


you don't have to say, "i love you," to say i love you

by iphigenias



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 04:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8431255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iphigenias/pseuds/iphigenias
Summary: Lukas and Philip, after.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i watched the first three eps of eyewitness this afternoon and immediately wrote this in under an hour. all mistakes are my own. i just love my sad gay boys. title is from troye sivan's "for him"

After everything, it’s Rose who Lukas goes to first. He finds her lying on the swing seat on her front porch, one leg bent to push against the boards. It makes him think, strangely and startlingly, of that scene from _Back to the Future II_. Lukas used to love that movie. He and Rose watched it once, before they were together, at a sleepover with a few other friends when Lukas had first noticed her smile, how nice it was, warm and open.

She must hear him walk over because she sits up, lets the swing rock to a gentle halt. She’s smiling again, that warm and open smile, and it cracks something inside Lukas he didn’t know was still whole.

“Hey,” he says, the word sounding inadequate for everything that’s happened. _Hey, I witnessed a murder and didn’t tell the cops. Hey, it was my fault Tommy and Tracy got killed. Hey, I cheated on you with a guy you thought I hated. Hey, I don’t think I ever loved you the way I wanted to._

“Hey,” she says back, patting the space next to her. Lukas takes the seat offered, his sudden weight sending the swing into motion again. “How’re you holding up?”

Lukas shrugs. He doesn’t know the answer to that. What he does know is this: Kane was killed in a police shoot-out, his dad just kicked him out, and Philip loves him. In that order. “Fine, I guess,” is what he says, then makes a face. They both know he’s lying. “I’m sorry,” he says instead. “I never wanted—I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t want to lie to you, I just—”

“Hey, hey,” Rose says softly, taking his hand from where it was resting on his knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay.” Lukas can’t help it; he snorts. “Well, yeah. It’s not okay. It’s kinda shit, actually. And it did hurt. A lot.” Lukas’ gut clenches. He pulls his hand from her grip and looks away. Rose gives a small sigh, and sits back against the swing. “But I get it, Lukas.” He looks back at her, then, and she’s still smiling, in a way that hurts him on the inside. “I forgive you.”

That means a lot, coming from her. To Lukas’ horror, tears well up in his eyes. He wipes them away with an embarrassed hand. “I’m,” he says, and stops. _I’m sorry_. He’s already said that. _I’m happy_. It’s too soon to tell that to Rose, to hurt her all over again when she’s only just forgiven him. He swallows. “Are you happy?” is what he asks, and her mouth does that half-smile, half-lip-quirk that always used to preclude a smart comeback.

“I’m not sure yet,” she tells him. “But you are. And I will be. That’s good enough for me.”

She hugs Lukas then, her arms strong from field hockey squeezing his ribs hard enough to crack. He hugs her back, bone-achingly desperate, and something inside of him seems to lift, float away, like he’s weightless. He’s only ever felt like this on his bike, during a jump, when gravity just seems to fall away around him. It’s intoxicating, ecstatic.

Lukas’ phone buzzes and they pull apart. It’s Philip. He glances back at Rose, who gives him that smile she always saved specially for him. “Get outta here,” she says with a laugh, and Lukas goes, leaving her on that porch swing while he texts Philip back.

 

*

 

They meet at the diner near the sheriff’s office, and Lukas knows it’s because Helen told Philip she wanted to keep an eye on him, for the time being. Make sure he stays out of trouble. Philip rolled his eyes when he told Lukas this, but Lukas knows he doesn’t mean it. He likes it, actually. Likes knowing that someone’s there to look out for him, even if it isn’t his birth mother.

Philip greets Lukas with a kiss. It’s nothing more than a warm, dry press of lips, but Philip’s eyes are dancing, and Lukas could get used to kisses like this, kisses that feel like flowers pressed between the pages of a book. They slide into a window booth, and from this angle Lukas can see the road leading out of town. It doesn’t look so scary anymore. It looks kind of like a promise.

Philip is smiling when Lukas looks at him. It’s a smile like the one Rose has, except neater, softer, like a secret. Lukas grabs his hand across the table and holds it even when the waitress comes up to take their order. When she leaves, Philip lets out a laugh, high and clear. “I’m not going to disappear on you, you know,” he says, giving their joined hands a shake. “You don’t have to hold my hand to keep me here. I _want_ to stay.”

Lukas ducks his head, embarrassed. “I know,” he says, looking down at their hands. “But _I_ want to hold _your_ hand, so deal with it.”

“Oh, so that’s how it is?” Lukas shrugs, and Philip laughs again. They have to break apart eventually, when the waitress brings over their coffee and food, but Lukas doesn’t mind so much. Philip was right, after all. He’s not going anywhere.

After, they walk along Main Street, shoulders bumping and conversation light. Philip asks about his next competition, and Lukas asks about life in the city, and together they muddle through this new and unfathomable thing between them. Lukas still feels like he did back on Rose’s front porch, like he could fly if only he wanted to, and he wonders if Philip feels the same. He hopes he does. He thinks, _this is what love feels like_.

Lukas’ bike is parked in an alley off Main. He hands Philip a helmet, slides on his own, and swings a leg over the bike, waiting for that warm pressure around his ribs to let him know that Philip is behind him, and holding on tight. When he feels it, feels the press of Philip’s front against the line of his back, their knees knocking together, he revs the engine, and they’re off. Lukas drives them along the road out of town, limitless, chasing the sun towards the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> give rose a girlfriend 2k16


End file.
